Farmer and alone widow | nice joke

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."

The old lady suggested, " Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

"Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home. On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."

The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?"

The farmer said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?"

The old lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."

Biography of Michael Jackson | Michael Jackson life | imporatant dats of Michael Jackson's life

Principal dates in the life of pop star Michael Jackson, who died in Los Angeles on Thursday after suffering a cardiac arrest.
Michael Jackson



August 29, 1958: Born in Gary, Indiana.

August 1962: Singing debut with his brothers, The Jackson Five.

March 1969: First Jackson Five contract with Tamla Motown, Detroit's black-owned record label. Michael's voice propels the group onto the hit parade with "ABC" and "I'll Be There".

1970: Launch of solo career alongside that of the Jackson Five.

August 1979: Release of "Off The Wall" album, produced by Quincy Jones, which sold 11 million copies.

December 1982: release of "Thriller" album, whose seven hits included "Billie Jean" and "Beat It," pushing sales to 50 million copies worldwide.

1984: Jackson's face gets burnt during filming for a Pepsi ad.

1985: Buys ATV Music -- a company with rights to John Lennon and Paul McCartney songs -- for 47.5 million dollars.

1985: Jackson writes "We Are The World," which benefited the fight against hunger in Africa.

1987: Release of "Bad," which sold 26 million copies and marked the end of his collaboration with Quincy Jones.

1988: His autobiography "Moonwalk" comes out.

1990: Michael Jackson is seen for the first time wearing a surgical mask in public/

1992: Release of "Dangerous," which sold 22 million copies/

August 1993: A father accuses Jackson of molesting his 13-year-old son, but settles out of court/

May 1994: February 1996: marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis/

June 1995: Release of "History" album/

November 1996-October 1999: Marriage to Debbie Rowe, a 37-year-old nurse with whom he has two children, Prince Michael and Paris Michael Katherine
.
October 2001: Release of "Invincible".

July 2002: Jackson accuses record labels of exploiting artists, especially African-Americans.

November 19, 2002: Scandal after Jackson dangles his third son, nine-month-old Prince Michael II, from a Berlin hotel balcony.

January 31, 2003: Sotheby's auction house sues for non-payment of 1.7 million dollars for two paintings.

February 3: In documentary "Living with Michael Jackson" broadcast on ITV, Jackson claims never to have abused a child, merely to have shared his bed.

February: The singer's manager brings a 13-million-dollar lawsuit for back salary, which is settled out of court in June.

November 18: Police raid Jackson's Neverland ranch in California as "Number Ones" album is released.

November 19: Warrant issued for Jackson's arrest on several counts of child molestation.

November 20: Jackson is arrested and handcuffed after surrendering to police, held briefly then released on bail.

December 18: Michael Jackson is formally charged with child molestation.

January 16, 2004: Jackson pleads not guilty during his first appearance amid a media circus.

January 31, 2005: Michael Jackson trial begins with jury selection.

February 28, 2005: Opening arguments begin in trial.

June 4, 2005: Jurors begin considering their verdict.

June 13, 2005: Jackson acquitted on all charges against him.

March 5, 2009: Jackson announces series of comeback concerts in London -- billed as the "final curtain" -- his first major shows for more than a decade.

May 20, 2009: Jackson delays comeback shows. Concert organizers say singer's health is "fantastic".

June 25, 2009: Jackson dies in Los Angeles.

Japanese PM's english skill| Emabassy humour | Embassy jokes

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!! I don't know how much true? But sure you will laugh or smile once at least (after reading this), and if not then please don't blame me, its your lake of sense of humor please improve it.

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha....

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Preety good advice for every one

pretty good advice for everyone.....no matter what your age!

Time is like a river . . .

You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow

has passed and will never pass again.

Enjoy every moment of life.


- For those who are already 45, start practicing.

- For those almost 45, get ready.

- For those where 50 is a long way off, help your parents do it.

For Those Over 50 Years Old :


1. Focus on enjoying people, not on indulging in or accumulating material things.

2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved. You deserve to enjoy it and the healthy years you have left.

Travel if you can afford it. Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about.

By leaving too much, you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.

3. Live in the here and now, not in the yesterdays and tomorrow's. It is only today that you can handle.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.

4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if blessed with any) but don't be their full time baby sitter.

5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains. It is a part of the aging process.

Enjoy whatever your health can allow.

6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now. STOP working hard for what you do not have.

If you don't have them, it's probably too late.

7. Enjoy your life with your spouse, children, grandchildren and friends.

People, who truly love you, love you for yourself, not for what you have.

Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.

And you probably know that by now.

8. Forgive and accept forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others.

Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.

9. Befriend death. It's a natural part of the life cycle. Don't be afraid of it.

Death is the beginning of a new and better life.

So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.

10. Be at peace with your Creator.

For ... He is all you have after you leave this journey on Earth.

Always see other side | little story for motivating you

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again. He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done.



But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map...



When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, "Oh... Dad, there is a man's face on the other side of the paper... I made the face perfect to get the map right." and she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

Moral of the Story:



There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side...You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

Keep Walking | benefits of walking| why we should walk

The Organs of your body have their sensory touches at the bottom of your foot, if you massage these points you will find relief from aches and pains as you can see the heart is on the left foot.

Typically they are shown as points and arrows to show which organ it connects to.

It is indeed correct since the nerves connected to these organs terminate here.

This is covered in great details in Acupressure studies or textbooks.

God created our body so well that he thought of even this. He made us walk so that we will always be pressing these pressure points and thus keeping these organs activated at all times.

So, keep walking...

20-20-20 exercise for eyes | protect eyes form pc

Did you know, the 20-20-20 exercise for Eyes? Recently i visited one of my optician friend. He knew that I'm a monster of computer, I'm not going to tell you all of our chat but the most important thing that he told me that is beneficial for my eyes is 20-20-20 exercise.

I Thought I'd share it with you. read below how 20-20-20 exercise works :-

Step I :-

After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn your head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. This changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.


Step II :-

Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.



Step III :-

Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.