Friday, May 29, 2009

Yog mudra | Yog mudra and their effcets

Practice below Yog Mudras at least 3 to 5 Min every day for lifetime Diseases free.



For Illustration, we put both hands closer, but in practice no need to put your hands closer.






Akash Mudra : For Ear problems






Dhyan Mudra : For Concentration power, Free from Depression, and for all Mind related problems







Hraday Mudra: For Asthma, and Respiration related diseases




Jal Mudra : This is for Blood purifier and all skin diseases.





Ling Mudra: Headache, Fever etc.





Pachan Mudra: Do only after taking food. It is for Digestive system.





Pran mudra: Eye problems, Nervous problems and it also charge all parts of the body.



Prithvi Mudra: For peace of mind, Body active etc.



Surya Mudra: Cholesterol etc.





Vayu Mudra: For joint pains, stomach problems etc.

Combination of new and old hindi pjs



"U love someone
U marry someone else.

The one u marry
becomes ur wife or husband

And the one u loved
becomes the password of ur mail id"

--------------------------------------------

There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.

There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.

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Three dreams of a man:


To be as handsome as his mother thinks.

To be as rich as his child believes.

To have as many women as his wife suspects...

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Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife
the kidney.

If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver
manages with other kidney.

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Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne
denge.


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What's the diff between Dava & Daru?

Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and

Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sar chad ke bolegi.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?

Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or
wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

33 feelings of a boy


*Belive it or not.......

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".
...... so true.

10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long.

20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

24. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does! ... very true.

28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!

29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.

30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
Doesn't this all make sense?


IT humour | nice conversion between peon and pl


Project Manager working in a MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.He relaxes in canteen.





He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. so he decides to have fun with him. He calls him.

Project Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles...

Project Manager - what are your future plans?

Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Project Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?

Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Project Manager - Jab mai Bombay aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai... naam hai, shohrat hai, paisa hai....tumhare paas kya hai?



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Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki "Mere paas Maa hain"




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Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas kaam hai....




Project Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.......

20-20 Cricket World Cup 2009 schedule | T20 world cup schedule

After the battle of IPL2 its time for 20-20 cricket world cup. ICC reviled schedule for 20 - 20 world cup. It starts from June 5. There will be 4 groups A,B,C,D. India is in Group A. The first two teams in each group are placed 1 or 2. They will retain this position for the Super Eight stage, irrespective of whether they finish first or second in their group, unless they are knocked out by the team 3 in their group. In this instance, team 3 replaces the position of the team they knock out.

There are some worm up games also. Below shown warm up games and world cup schedule.



WARM UP GAMES

DATE

TIME

VENUE

MATCH

June 1

13:30-16:30

Lord's

Ire vs. Ned

June 1

13:30-16:30

Trent Bridge

Aus vs. Ban

June 1

17:30-20:30

Lord's

NZ vs. Ind

June 1

17:30-20:30

Trent Bridge

Pak vs. SA

June 2

13:30-16:30

Oval

Ire vs. WI

June 2

17:30-20:30

Trent Bridge

Eng vs. Sco

June 2

17:30-20:30

Oval

Aus vs. NZ

June 3

13:30-16:30

Lord's

SL vs. SA

June 3

13:30-16:30

Oval

Ned vs. Sco

June 3

17:30-20:30

Lord's

Eng VS. WI

June 3

17:30-20:30

Oval

Ind vs. Pak






GROUP GAMES

DATE

TIME(IST)

VENUE

MATCH

June5

22:00

Lord's

Eng vs Ned

June 6

14:30

Oval

NZ vs. Sco

June 6

18:00

Oval

Aus vs WI

June 6

22:00

Trent Bridge

Ind vs Ban

June 7

18:00

Oval

SA vs Sco

June 7

22:00

Oval

Eng vs Pak

June 8

18:00

Trent Bridge

Ire vs Ban

June 8

22:00

Trent Bridge

Aus vs SL

June 9

18:00

Lord's

Pak vs Ned

June 9

22:00

Lord's

NZ vs SA

June 10

18:00

Trent Bridge

SL vs WI

June 10

22:00

Trent Bridge

Ind vs Ire



Group E: A1, B2, C1, D2

Group F: A2, B1, C2, D1



SUPER EIGHT MATCHES

DATE

TIME(IST)

VENUE

MATCH

June 11

18:00

Trent Bridge

D1 vs A2

June 11

22:00

Trent Bridge

B2 vs D2

June 12

18:00

Lord's

B1 vs C2

June 12

22:00

Lord's

A1 vs C1

June 13

18:00

Oval

C1 vs D2

June 13

22:00

Oval

D1 vs B1

June 14

18:00

Lord's

A2 vs C2

June 14

22:00

Lord's

A1 vs B2

June 15

18:00

Oval

B1 vs A2

June 15

22:00

Oval

B2 vs C1

June 16

18:00

Trent Bridge

D1 vs C2

June 16

22:00

Trent Bridge

D2 vs A1

The top four teams from the Super Eight qualify for the finals:

Semi Final 1 - 18th June, Trent Bridge, E1 vs. F2

Semi Final 2 - 19th June, Oval, E2 vs. F1

Final - 21st June at Lord's


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

How to be successful in life


Hi Friends,

Do you want to be successful in life? Do you want to marry the girl/boy you have a crush on? Do you want to own a Multi-national company and be your own boss? Do you want to drive that sexy car you always dreamt off? Anything is possible and to your suprise it is very easy too. I know you slip a beat in your heart now. You need not believe in me but believe in yourself. Here are 5 steps that you may try to get whatever you wanted in life.

1) Become An Actor:

I remember this quote, "The world is a stage and everyone in it is an actor" We do this act of acting day in and day out in our lives. If you streamline this talent it will turn to your benefit. You might have seen kids playing as a doctor, engineer, Dad, Mom and other characters. I always learn a lot from Kids though it should be the otherway round. See them how they potrait themselves when they pick up a characher. They get themselves so much into the character that they forget their real self. I spent time observing them after they pick up a character. I noticed their voice, gestures, body language and even language changes from a child to adult. They do this so unconciously and totally forgetting their self image. This is excatly what adults need to do to get what they want in life. This makes the transformation from what we are to what we want to be. If we want to become a successful Manager, change everything in your life and ACT as you are a successful manager NOW. When you do so, your actions, gestures, dressing sense, habits everything will change. In no time you will see the real transformation happening. In simple, become the change you wanted to become NOW.

2) Release Mind Blocks:

How many of us do this; If I take this route everyday to office my day will be good, If I see a particular person on my way to college my whole day will be pleasent, If I am able to catch the 12B bus then my day goes smooth. DO NOT do this? You are killing yourself. You are creating a mental block in your mind and throwing a condition that ONLY if you do or get this, you day or life is going to be happy. With or without your knowledge you are attracting what you DON'T NEED rather than attracting what you NEED. You are creating blocks in your mind unwantedly. Release these mental blocks from your mind and focus directly on what you need.

3) Do Not Try To Convince Others:

What is a need for you need not be a need for others. It is important that you should be 100% convinced that you are a successful manager NOW (reference to 1st point example) but not necessary that you should tell people that you do so because you wanted to become one. When you try to convince others your belief level goes down. Take the kids example. When they play they do not convince others to make them believe that one is a doctor or a character. They simply believe in what character they are. That is excatly what adults should also do.

4) Get Out Of The Way:

We have heard of miracles. There is no scientific reason found behind any miracle. In spirituality they say the best prayer is to say, "Thank you God" because you believe that you received what you wanted and thanking God for it. When we pray we only ask what we want, we don't give directions to GOD to help HIM how to make it happen. Ask, Tell, Dream, Visualize, Imagine on only what you WANT. Do not try to question on HOW it will happen. It is very difficult for a pratical man/women to do this. Because they always question on the HOW. Keep only the result you wanted to become in your mind and do not worry on the HOW part. Leave the HOW part to be delt by the supreme power. Just Ask, and get out of the way for things to happen.

5) Be Happy

I am again bringing the example of Kids here.....we adults can learn a lot from kids. For example, when they fight, see how quick they get back together. It is not that simple when they become adult, WHY???? Many negatives grow big along the path, which we can discuss in another topic. Coming back to the topic....It is very very important that you have positive emotions. As I have mentioned in another blog of mine...Positive emotions attracts positive results and negative emotions attracts negative results. When you act as a successful manager, your emotional level should be the same as a successful manager. You should feel all the positive emotions of being successful like happy being wealthy, happy getting a beautiful girl as wife, happy owning a luxury car, happy being a member of an exclusive club.......Carry this happy emotions throughout your life and see the change you become. The beauty of this emotion is that not only you get transformed but you also transform others.

Follow these 5 setps, they are simple yet very powerful. God created you and you create your destiny. Let us all Live and die and not die to live.

All the best


30 feelings of a girl





1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

Gone are the days | nice Poetry





Gone are the days!!
When
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!

When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books
and notes!

When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learn writing with
slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!

When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!

When we started calculating
first with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to
Calculators and computers!

When we chased one another in the
corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!

When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!

When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!

When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!

When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!

When few played
"kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played
"book cricket" in the
Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!

When we used to
watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!

When few rushed at 3:45 to
"Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint",
"kulfi", " milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4'o Clock!

Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long
preparations for them.

Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!

Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!

We learn,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.

With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!

Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!

Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we
Code on the road with laptop!

Gone are the days
When we saw stars
Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't
Work!

Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!

Gone are the days
Where we
studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!

Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!

Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don't shout even at home

Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!

Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever .....

Gone are the Days
.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!

NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,

DON'T FORGET TO

LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL

EXISTS.........




Sunday, May 24, 2009

Amazing Points to Ponder




1. If all the nations in the world are in debt (am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?

2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

3. What is the speed of darkness?

4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?

6. Can you cry under water?

7. Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

9. Do fish ever get thirsty?

10. Can you get cornered in a round room?

12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

15. What should one call a male ladybird?

16. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

17. Can you blow a balloon up under water?
18. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

19. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be Able to hear it?

20. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

21. Why is it called a TV set when there's only one?

22. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

23. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

24. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars.

Facts about budget


Believe it or not!

The word budget's root word is the French word BOUGETTE, a little bag, once used for pills and medication.

Tight security: Almost 30 employees of the Finance Ministry press stay inside the ministry building for a week ahead of the Budget presentation. They're not allowed to communicate with the outside world. This is done to ensure that information from the Budget is not leaked out.

Morarji Desai was the only Indian Finance Minister to have presented two budgets on his birthday, February 29, in 1964 and 1968.

The world's first documented imprisonment for tax evasion was in 306 A.D. by Emperor Constantine of the Holy Roman Empire.

The world's first income tax was levied in 1404 A.D. in England (it was so hated that Parliament later had all records of it burned).

Interesting tricks about Microsoft Windows

Microsoft- Windows the most popular operating system due to its graphical user Interface. There are some interesting facts about Windows. See below, how many of them is in your knowledge

(1)there are some reserved key words in Windows which you can't use as folder name these Reserved file names are :

CON,
PRN,
NUL,
COM1,
COM2,
COM3,
COM4,
LPT1,
LPT2,
LPT3,
AUX
(not even available with an extension, e.g. CON.com is illegal) . Surprised !!!!!!!!!! yes its true. Why you not try this and test it :)




For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1.) Open an empty notepad file
2.) Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
3.) Save it as whatever you want.
4.) Close it, and re-open it. is it just a really weird bug? :-??




Open Microsoft Word and type

=rand (200, 99)

And then press ENTER then see the magic...............................

A latter to dad by a daughter



A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:


PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Vehicle insurance | Auto insurance | motor insurance

Vehicle insurance (also known as auto insurance, car insurance, or motor insurance) is insurance purchased for cars, trucks, and other vehicles. Its primary use is to provide protection against losses incurred as a result of traffic accidents and against liability that could be incurred in an accident.


In many jurisdictions it is compulsory to have vehicle insurance before using or keeping a motor vehicle on public roads. Most jurisdictions relate insurance to both the car and the driver, however the degree of each varies greatly.

Vehicle insurance can cover some or all of the following items:

* The insured party
* The insured vehicle
* Third parties (car and people)


EXCESS
An excess payment, also known as a deductible, is the fixed contribution you must pay each time your car is repaired through your car insurance policy. Normally the payment is made directly to the accident repair "garage" (The term "garage" refers to an establishment where vehicles are serviced and repaired) when you collect the car. If one's car is declared to be a "write off" or "total loss"("write off" is commonly used in motor insurance to describe a vehicle the worth of which is less than the cost of repair), the insurance company will deduct the excess agreed on the policy from the settlement payment it makes to you.

If the accident was the other driver's fault, and this is accepted by the third party's insurer, you'll be able to reclaim your excess payment from the other person's insurance company.

Compulsory excess

A compulsory excess is the minimum excess payment your insurer will accept on your insurance policy. Minimum excesses vary according to your personal details, driving record and insurance company.

Voluntary excess

In order to reduce your insurance premium, you may offer to pay a higher excess than the compulsory excess demanded by your insurance company. Your voluntary excess is the extra amount over and above the compulsory excess that you agree to pay in the event of a claim on the policy. As a bigger excess reduces the financial risk carried by your insurer, your insurer is able to offer you a significantly lower premium.



Auto insurance in the United States

The consumer may be protected with different coverage types depending on what coverage the insured purchases. Some states require that motorists carry liability insurance coverage to ensure that its drivers can cover the cost of damages to people or property in the event of an automobile accident. Some states, such as Wisconsin, have more flexible “proof of financial responsibility” requirements.

In the United States, liability insurance covers claims against the policy holder and generally, any other operator of the insured vehicles, provided they do not live at the same address as the policy holder, and are not specifically excluded on the policy. In the case of those living at the same address, they must specifically be covered on the policy. Thus it is necessary, for example, when a family member comes of driving age they must be added to the policy. Liability insurance sometimes does not protect the policy holder if they operate any vehicles other than their own. When you drive a vehicle owned by another party, you are covered under that party’s policy. Non-owners policies may be offered that would cover an insured on any vehicle they drive. This coverage is available only to those who do not own their own vehicle and is sometimes required by the government for drivers who have previously been found at fault in an accident. Non-owners policies are also known as Named Operator Policies. The policies are useful for people whose drivers license has been suspended and they have to have insurance for their licensed to be reinstated.

Monday, May 18, 2009

5 minute management lesson


Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.




Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.




Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.




Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Indian political drama |comedy of the year 2009

Karunanidhi fasting.......



First time in the world history fasting only 4 hours and that too with Air Coolers …….
This is the comedy of the year 2009…. Fasting starts after breakfast and ends before lunch. Interesting one! ! ! ! ! !






Rahul Gandhi working with labors

Thursday, May 14, 2009

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DECOMPOSE


Hi,

Knowingly or unknowingly we harm nature by littering. It is not unthinkable to find people like us going to a sanctuary for a picnic, drink and break the bottles on the rocks/throw cans, cook there and after a great lunch leave the plates, disposable glasses and polythene behind. I thought of sharing with you a small list, with the time it takes to decompose these items (how long our act of negligence/ foolishness remains!).



HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DECOMPOSE



Banana Peel- 3-4 weeks

Orange peels- 6 months

Apple Core- 2 months

Paper Bag- 1 month

Cardboard- 2 months

Milk Cartons- 5 years

Newspaper- 6 weeks

Cotton Glove- 3 months

Tinned Steel Can- 50 years

Aluminum Can- 200-500 years

Disposable Diapers- 550 years

Plastic Bags- 20-1000 years

Glass- 1-2 million years

Cigarette Butts- 10-12 years

Leather shoes- 25-40 years

Rubber-Boot Sole- 50-80 years

Plastic containers- 50-80 years

Mono filament Fishing Line- 600 years

Foamed Plastic Cups- 50 years

Wool Sock- 1-5 years

Plywood- 1-3 years

Plastic Bottles- 450 years



Can we afford to be snobbish and ignore this?

I request you to please share this information in your network to create awareness that this also lead to Global Green House Effect.

I'm thinking about you | my feelings| Love poetry


I'm thinking about you,
a little more each day.
Holding on a little tighter,
to all the words you say.

Every day I miss you,
more than the day before.
Our time together I love;
and I'm wanting even more.

I used to dream of you,
as I lay in bed each night.
Now you are my dreams,
even through the daylight.

I felt a flutter in my heart,
whenever I saw you online.
Today my heart is glowing;
filled with a brilliant shine.

I was shy to tell everything,
which I was feeling inside.
Now I feel so free to share,
with nothing I want to hide.

I thought you were special,
from the moment we met.
And each day a little further,
into my heart you would get.

I could always feel a bond,
everytime our hearts shared.
When our souls bonded also,
I realized how much I cared.

I find my heart needing yours;
cherishing all that you do.
Now, I'm not scared to admit,
I am falling in love with you.



Monday, May 11, 2009

It's Performance, Not Position that Counts | nice joke

A Priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses him, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you into the Kingdom of Heaven ?"

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, from New York ."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver,

"Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Now it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am the Right Reverend Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest,

"Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the priest. "That man was a taxi driver. Why does he get a silken robe and golden staff?"

"Results," shrugged Saint Peter...

"While you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."

Moral of the story:

It's Performance, Not Position that Counts.

Some Hindi Pjs


How do u extract IRON ORE frm hema malini???
….

….

….

get her drunk...
then she'll get tight...
now u ve hema-tite!
n now u can extract iron ore!!






Ek ladka tha,use kabhi pyar nahi hua tha, uske pant ka zip hamesha khula rahta tha kyon?

……

…….

………..

Kyonki
Pyar bina 'chain' kahan re!








why was madras renamed as chennai????
………..

………..

arre bcoz in madras, people wear lungi and lungi mein chain nahi hoti...so chain-nai (chennai)








Agar Do Pipal Ke Ped Ko Ek Rassi Se Bandh Diya Jaye To Us Rassi Ko Kya Kahenge?

Socho..

Socho..

Answer: NOKIA :Connecting pipal !!!












Why did the world trade centre collapse??


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VAASTU PROBLEM











Why cant HIPPOPOTAMUS's lie??










B'coz ......


















B'coz ......




















HIPS DONT LIE. :-)















How do u make a flying cobra land?

.....

……
JUST SAY……..NAGA LAND



Just say NAGALAND!!!













AND here comes THE LONGEST PJ………………………





Journalists at Don Ajit's house taking his interview..

they enquired him about his

"success ka raaz" ..




he calls Robert.. " Robert bring me a Baaz (a bird, eagle )"

..

Robert immediately brings the baaz..




Ajit asks Mona to give the baaz a bath ..

Mona carries out his order..



he asks Mona to put the baaz on his hand..



he takes out his gun and shoots the baaz..



and says" yeh hai meri success ka raaz"...




all the journalists are lost..

how come this is your success ka raaz...
In comes the reply

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" Main Dhoke-Baaz ko maar deta hoon .. "




The golfer's plight | nice joke



Two women were playing golf..

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,"she told him.

"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel"?

He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"

Ring | nice joke



A young man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The young man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something Very special.”

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000, " the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The young man seeing this said, "We'll take it.”
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the young man stated, “by cheque."

"I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon. "

Next morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the young man.” There's no money in that account."

"I know ", said the young man, "but ...
.
Can you imagine the weekend I had? "

Husband wanted | nice joke



A lonely spinster, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

"HUSBAND WANTED MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, and MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON."

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. The woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you....you have no legs!"

The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?"

With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile and said,

"I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

Some interesting facts

(1)Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.

(2)A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

(3) A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.

(4) 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

(5)Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

(7)Most lipstick contains fish scales.

(8) Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

(9) Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

(10)Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

(11) Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

(12)Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you could see his moves.

(13)That's the opposite of the norm. The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"! .

(14) Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

(15) Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

(16) Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

(17) Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

(18)To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.

(19) The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

(20)The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.

(21)The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.

(22)Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

(23)"Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".

(24)Coca-Cola can be used as car oil.

(25)Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.

(26)Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.

(27)Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.

(28)There are more chickens than people in the world.

(29)It's against the law in Iceland to have a dog.

(29)The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.

(30)The only word in the English Language with all vowels in reverse order is "subcontinental".

(31)There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.

(32)The sentence, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

(33)The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

(34)The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(35)The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

(36)TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

(37)You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

(38)Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name.

(39)Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

(40)To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.

(41)Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp.

(42)Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

(43)Those stars and colors you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

(44) At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

(45)Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot, left foot.

(46)Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

(47)A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

(48)All Polar bears are left-handed.

(49)American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

(50)Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

(51)Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

(52)Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(53)Donald Duck comics was banned in Finland because he does not wear pants.

(54)Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(55)Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

(56)Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(57)'I am' is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

(58) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

60. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

61. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

62. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

63. No word in the English language rhymes with month.

64. Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

65. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do

66. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

67. Starfish haven't got brains.

68. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

69. The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

70. The human brain is about 85% water.

71. The hummingbird is the only bird that can hover and fly straight up, down, or backward!

72. The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.

73. The Hundred Year War actually lasted 116 years (1337 to 1453).

74. The infinite sign is called a lemniscate.

75. The Jazz Singer, 1927, was the first movie with audible dialogue. .

76. The Kama Sutra was written by Mallanga Vatsyayana, who was rumored to be celibate.

77. The kangaroo rat can cover ground at a rate of 17 feet per second. It can leap as much as 18 inches straight up and can switch directions at the peak of its jump.

78. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

79. The kiwi has nostrils near the tip of its bill that allows it to sniff the ground for food.

80. The Kiwi, national bird of New Zealand, can't fly. It lives in a hole in the ground, is almost blind, and lays only one egg each year. Despite this, it has survived for more than 70 million years.

81. The Kwoma of New Guinea considers it proper for the girl to make sexual advances rather than the boy in order to help the men avoid upsetting the girl's parents.